Rings around the Collar - Stories

THE INDEPENDENT

The first Friday night after the wedding Bill was getting ready to go out with the guys, just as he did every Friday night. "I'm sitting in a chair watching him get ready and not take his new wife," Sharon said. "That was kind of the start of the first dip in our relationship because he never had anyone to hold him back . . . for doing anything."

"He never wanted to hear what I had to say," Sharon said. "We tended to go our own separate ways for several years." Sharon met with her girlfriends while Bill was busy with his cars and the guys. "I always made sure my weekends didn't interfere with anything Bill was doing."

THE SOFT-SPOKEN

Laura was in dental school when they met. Vince was a maintenance worker. They dated for a year and then moved in together, with approval from her parents who had been paying her rent since she was in school.

He controlled the money and made all the decisions in the marriage, ranging from what kind of car to buy to how the house would be decorated. "He wanted to be the powerful one," she said. If she dared to open her mouth he would jump down her throat. She couldn't have a discussion with him.

THE STRONG-WILLED

Vanessa did the "mom thing" for several years before she returned to school part time to work on a master's degree and complete the requirements for medical school, for she still had her dream. Her master's was left incomplete as she was accepted into medical school. She was thirty five.

"No matter what we do in our life outside of our marriage, we still have this foundation that we (Vanessa and Aaron) decided to build. You have to have that mutual respect for each other no matter what we do to make our family work," Vanessa said.

THE GROUNDED

"I was always a man's best friend rather than a date, a potential relationship," she said. Would she ever find Mr. Right? "If it happens, it happens," she continued.

Somewhat on a dare from her friends, she enrolled in an internet dating site.

"We have our own lives and then we have our life," said Carol. "I know that for sure." "We are separate individuals, but definitely stronger together than we are apart," she continued. There is a huge amount of trust in the relationship and a total level of acceptance.